


The Vulcan wants to kiss Jim

by briefoptimisticspaceaffair



Series: The Bar AU [2]
Category: Star Trek
Genre: Humor, Jim speaking Vulcan, M/M, jim is smart, what if Spock met Jim in a bar au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:00:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24667264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/briefoptimisticspaceaffair/pseuds/briefoptimisticspaceaffair
Summary: There is an apple involved
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Series: The Bar AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1783540
Comments: 9
Kudos: 106





	The Vulcan wants to kiss Jim

Jim saw the asshole who punched him coming from a mile away. Maybe he really shouldn’t have pushed a little when flirting with the beautiful cadet. But Jim only had two functions when interacting with adults: flirting until they either kiss him or punch him. Today it was a punch. Several punches. Jim could have hit back but he didn’t want to ruin Dave’s bar and he could spare the shirt. He just hoped blood didn’t get on the jacket. Jim was very very fond of his jacket, he had got it of a very sexy Vulcan who was a phenomenal kisser. 

“Kid” Pike said as he sat down across from where Jim was sitting with bits of napkin up his nose in the now empty bar. “You really got to stop making me bail you out of bar fights. Number One would be disappointed”. Yeah she would. She’d be disappointed that Jim hadn’t knocked out the guy who threw the first punch. Jim could practically already hear the call she’d be making in a few days telling Jim to come visit her defence classes so she could retrain him on how to break every bone in a human hand. “Do you like being the only genius level repeat offender in the Midwest?” Pike asked, raising his eyebrows at Jim using his ‘I’m not your father but I care’ voice.

“Maybe I love it” Jim replied pulling the bits of nakin out of his nose “hey Dave, don’t sweep that up I’ll do it” Jim said to Dave the barkeeper who was sweeping up the broken glass the old fashioned way. Dave waved Jim off with a fond smile “Don’t worry about it Jim, you just listen to the Captain”. No Dave! Don’t betray Jim like this, Jim glanced back at Pike who now had his ‘I’m your commanding officer and you better do as I say’ face on. Just great.

“Join Starfleet,” Pike said bluntly. Jim very much wanted to pretend he hadn’t heard that. Jim really wanted to go help Dave cleanup but he knew that Dave wouldn’t let him escape Pike and his dumb idea that Jim was an undiscovered talent. Jim didn’t want to be discovered.

“Why?” Jim asked, feeling ready for another bar fight, only this time Jim wouldn’t let the other guy win. Pike looked wordlessly at Jim not saying anything but Jim could hear him anyway. I dare you to do better.

“Riverside Shipyard the shuttle for new recruits leaves tomorrow 0800” Pike said standing up and straightening his Starfleet jacket he picked up a salt shaker from the table and tossed it at Jim. Jim easily caught it “I’ll be seeing you Jim” Pike said with a wry smile and left the bar. The salt shaker was in the shape of a star ship. 

Jim signed on. His roommate was a doctor, which was actually really good because Jim was allergic to half of the planet Earth. Bones didn’t agree but that was probably because Jim had a habit of eating things that made his face blow up. What? He really liked bananas. What was giving Jim trouble wasn’t the difficulty of the classes, it was trying not to stand out because they were all so freaking easy. Jim did not want any attention at all.

Jim’s problem was the Kobyashi Maru test. It was a basic no win scenario programmed to make you lose. Jim hated no win scenario’s he had lived through his fair share of them. Erica being murdered before the supply ship arrived on Tarsus IV. Keeping Kevin away from Kudos. Saving Tom from the prison on Tarsus IV (Jim had been too late they had already tortured half of Tom’s face off). All the stupid tests Kudos made Jim complete. Jim hated no win scenarios. So he changed the program and beat Kobyashi Maru into dust. Number One would be proud. 

The first time Jim saw S'chn T'gai after meeting him at that bar on his birthday and spending months talking by Padd (playing online chess was a very interesting form of flirting). Jim spat bits of apple all over S'chn T'gai Commander uniform. In Jim’s defence he hadn’t expected S'chn T'gai to come through the door after Jim had completed (totally crushed) the Kobyashi Maru. “oh shit-I’m sorry” Jim said, wiping bits of apple off S'chn T'gai’s jacket with his sleeve. S'chn T'gai just raised a cool eyebrow “hello Jim”. Jim vaguely heard Uhura loudly demanding since when did Jim speak Vulcan. “S'chn T'gai” Jim said, flicking off the last bit of apple, it landed with a splat on a screen and one of the fake ships blew up. 

“You know Commander Spock?!” Bones demanded later after Jim had been dismissed from the stimulation room. Uhura wasn’t that far behind Bones and she had a look that said she wanted answers, now. “Heh kinda?” Jim said, trying to escape Uhura by dodging through the crowd bustling about the cafeteria. “Kinda?!” Bones face was turning an interesting shape of puce Jim fought the urge to snap a picture. 

“Jim” S'chn T'gai’s smooth voice interrupted from over Jim’s shoulder. Jim spun around and happily grinned at S'chn T'gai, he looked very fetching in his apple-free Starfleet uniform. “May I have a word?” S'chn T'gai gestured to the cafeteria exit.  
“Sure thing,” Jim drawled grabbing S'chn T'gai’s arm and getting the hell out of dodge. 

“Did he just link arms with Commander Spock?” Bones said incredulously in the distance.  
“What the ever loving fuck is happening?!” Uhura whisper screamed tugging at her hair.


End file.
